Krypto #71: More S.C.P.A. Action

From: Superboy #136 (March 1967), plus Adventure Comics #351 (December 1966)

If you thought the other Space Canine Patrol Agent stories were crazy, you ain't seen nothin' yet. There's so much insanity in "Decoy of the Doom Statues!" that I may have to gloss over at least some of it. Let's things up on page 3, when the SCPA, having just accepted Mammoth Mutt's like-powered sister Mammoth Miss as a member because of nepotism, hold legit try-outs for new members. After Hoodoo Hound's super-hypnotism proves both ineffective and irrelevant to the plot, up comes Prophetic Pup, the SCPA's answer to the Legion's Dream Girl. Except much more disturbing:
So here's the deal: If Prophetic Pup can make three accurate predictions, he becomes an Agent. His first, about an unannounced visit from Krypto bearing cat balloons, comes true.
This ain't no vague horoscope neither! His next vision shows humanoid bears from the Bear Constellation (because these adventures are squarely set on Earth-C, don't tell me they're not) disappear while exploring a crater. He's right again, but only TECHNICALLY and because Silver Age science doesn't make sense.
An X-ray crater?! Ok, whatever you say. The bears are in no danger (except maybe from cancer, I hear they're repealing BearCre on their planet #blackhumor #sorry) and Krypto's fly-by was a wild goose chase, which to me would be grounds for disqualifying Prophetic Pup. But as you can see, his third, obscured vision is about Superboy being led into a deadly trap by a hound, then being rescued by a hound. Expect shenanigans, folks.

But since it's not set to happen for 24 hours, the SCPA can answer a distress call from the Planet of the Green Dogs which is overrun by giant fleas.
When Krypto flies off to find their source, he discovers a memorial park dedicated to SCP Agents from the past, one of which, Beam Beagle's, emitting rays from its eyes, bathing a green dog with a ray that makes his fleas become giants. How? Well, evil cats obviously.
Krypto uses a plastic bubble to quarantine and ferry the dog away, but the cats' leader, Tricky Tom, catches up to him in his cat ship and traps him in a crystal with chunks of deadly kryptonite. While Krypto hurtles through space powerless, the cats resume their flea attack, but all but Tom are captured. Superboy thankfully finds Krypto in deep space and saves him using asteroids a space billiards. They are being dogged (ha!) by an unseen Tom, who soon gets a visit from... the pet cats of the Kryptonian criminals in the Phantom Zone!
I shit you not. Kryptonian law apparently mandates that your pets share your punishment, and of course, they're as bad as their masters. Their plan entails (ha!) finding the statues of great El family members from Kryptonian history, which were apparently found by Superboy in a previous story (if this is their first appearance, then the story is even more bonkers than I thought), and since they were all kryptonite, Superboy had to encase them in lead. To make sure Superboy is attracted to it, Tricky Tom is directed to add a statue of Jor-El to the ground, and when Superboy and Superdog are close enough, to melt the lead away.
THEN, for no apparent reason, the whole kit and caboodle (ha!) is left near Smallville. But Krypto has faith in Prophetic Pup who foretold that a hound would save them. He watches, powerlessly with his telescopic vision power (cough), as the SCPA come looking for him on Earth and walk around town in the middle of the day. Thankfully, Smallville is as deserted as the Paramount back lot on a cheap episode of Star Trek. One after the other, the Agents seem to be heading for their location, but one after the other gets distracted. A couple of highlights:
In the end, the SCPA is completely useless and it's a kid HOUNDING a nearby film set for actors' autographs who finds the prone heroes.
Collective groan everyone? At least Prophetic Pup made it in.

And back in Adventure Comics #351... Krypto and the Super-Pets appear and fight the Legion of Substitute-Heroes at the behest of Supergirl, who's been compromised by a kryptonite capsule put in her brain by Prince Evillo's Devil's Dozen!
Believe it or not, Color Kid saves the day by turning Stone Boy's skin green and making at least the Kryptonian pets fly off in fear.

So question: Which is Krypto's best team?

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd be banging against the "glass" of the Phantom Zone too if I found myself suddenly surrounded by cats.

--De

 

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